I would like to start off with a shout out to my fan club in Littleton Massachusetts as I see they are STILL reading all my posts....I appreciate that you think I am fascinating
So I went off FB..
but then I found out an interesting tidbit
and I got a little annoyed at the dbl standard of it all...
I went back on because it was just too good not to comment on......
The story really begins when I first moved in with Doc and he set up a FB account that he never went on...so he started to friend a few of my friends and vice versa...all of a sudden came a swirling river of hot chicks in lingerie asking to be his friend...
which made me giggle...
cuz if you know Doc
its just funny.
so one day we are chilling and he is on his Ipad and says look at this girl putting up videos on FB...
so I watch one
she is lip synching or something
and there is a site where it states she does modeling singing lingerie topless and artistic nude
and I find it
and kinda funny
and I think
well these videos
they have to be a joke right?
So fast forward a year and this same individual comes up in a conversation....
and I realize this girl who is now a spartan athlete and pretty well known
she was this person a year ago under another name making videos
with the site....she is very very attractive and well sex sells...
so I write a post on FB where I talk about this person (no names) and how I think it is such a dbl standard as I never take myself seriously and I had a huge backlash about a totally silly picture while this person is doing things and being celebrated and on bill boards....
so lots of people pm me as I guess I am the only person who did not know about this person....
one in particular is someone I care about and he calls me out for picking on this person ...basically using her as a scapegoat for something I feel is unfair....
I feel bad....
I consider myself to be open minded and not judgemental and could honestly care less what people do.
I think I was hurt at what happened to me and
I took it out on her...
I don't know this girl
I have no idea why she did what she did...
I did not put myself in her shoes...
I was mean
I am ashamed....
and in a way
I was hypocritical....as I did a sexy pic for a Spartan Race Calendar...I was knee deep in treatments had hair weaves because clumps of hair had fallen out had about 10lbs of bloat from the meds
my BF who had cheated on me once
had a month before asked me back
so he could cheat on me again
I was not feeling very good...
so I did the calendar
I had a blast....
they did my make up and my hair
I have never worn makeup..
I felt like a princess for a day...
everyone was like 10 years or more younger
or 100 times better looking than me
I was in running shorts and a sports bra
someone tried to give me some sexy undie things to wear
not so much
so I stuck to the basics..
what I wear to the gym or running...
my parents asked for pics
and they are pretty conservative...
So I was a part of something that was all about
but on my own behalf...
I never once
expected to get a thing from it
but a giggle or two at my dorkiness
I did not disappoint
as I look like a total
goof in the pics...
I felt sad and ugly and
the makeup and the hair and the cameraman
they made a bloated balding forty something
what if this girl
who is honestly just a little pup
was feeling sad
what if she did what she did
to feel better about herself..
I can't take it back....
I wrote the post
I am sure she knows about it...
I had no right to take my anger out on her...
I should know better
I am ashamed
I can't take it back
but I can strive to be
a kinder person
make a circle and let them in...